I still don't always know what to think or say when I talk about you, but I do know that I miss you often and will always love you so very much. It's been five years since you took your life, so much has changed and happened since then. There were a lot of times where things were hard, where I had to choose pain to find healing, to open up and let it out in order to receive the good things & healing the Lord had for me. But I did, and it was so worth it. I never knew I could feel so deeply, that love could hurt so much, that I could be comforted so well, and feel the closeness of the Lord in such real ways. The Lord is SO good and has brought so much healing. He has taught me so much.
I still can't make sense of it all, but I am OK with that now because I know that God does know and I trust him. A quote & verse that I have learned much from are:
"When you give up your right to understand, you receive the peace that surpasses all understanding." - Bill Johnson
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:7
I thank God for you whenever I think of you.
And now I just want to say a few things about the last year,
- I became a real nurse this year! Woohoo!
- I got married to Mr. Daniel Atwood!!! It was the best day of my life for sure, I definitely missed you though. I tried to find your heart locket necklace to wrap around my bouquet and carry with me, but I never could. You would of looked so beautiful in blush, standing up there with me, but I know you're looking even more beautiful in white, standing up there with our Savior :)
Amy Hope, I miss saying your name, but this year has been a lot easier for me to talk about you, with friends and with strangers.
I love you forever sis!
xoxo
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